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Joke of the Day

"I'm no scientist, but if that ebola virus is communicable, that means WE CAN TALK TO IT."

"What did the little cloud say about the big cloud? I think you're condensating for something."

"Bae: come over. Me: Can't. I've to finish posting this joke. Bae: My parents aren't home."

"What do you call a fly that literally can't even?"

"Three blondes walked into a building you'd think one of them would have seen it..."

"What's the best thing about fucking twenty one year olds? There are twenty of them."

"George Washington wasn't arrogant, but he did predict the $1 bill would contain his likeness. In that regard, he was on the money."

"What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns? Go for the juggler"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way."

"Remote start, keyless entry, feature allows me the privilege of losing my keys- while I'm driving."