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Joke of the Day

"What did the little cloud say about the big cloud? I think you're condensating for something."

"I've adjusted my insults to be more pc Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight."

"Grandpa and Kid Jokes Grandpa: kid....see!! Your Teacher is coming... You're better hide..!! You're absent today Kid: Grandpa!!! not me but you!! I told her that ""You Died"""

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis [cough], father [ah], ladder"

"so a man comes into a bar........ Oh wait no it was a horse....... So a man comes into a horse.........."

"Are birth control pills deductible? Only if they don't work."

"Dollar Tree clerk asked me to fill out a survey to maybe win a $500 gift card and I was like I don't need to own a whole dollar store thanks"

"I wouldn't recommend eating German sausage... It's the wurst!"

"If Monday had a face, I'd punch it."

"Me: ""Can I see the baby?"" Sister: ""Yes, but only if she's awake."" Me, through a megaphone: ""NOT A PROBLEM."""