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Joke of the Day

"Santa has elves. America has China."

"Might see you guys in 15-25yrs. Weekend with my folks & it's only a matter of time before I snap."

"*go to shake hands with All-Knowing Oracle* *just stares at me* *realize he knows I didn't wash my hands after using the bathroom earlier*"

"I have a killer penis. Yeah, that's right. It's a mood killer. *sobs*"

"My parents wanted to name me Odysseus because I, too, broke through the Trojan wall."

"Sure, white people cant say they ""N"" word but atleast we can say phrases like "" thanks for the warning, officer"" and ""hey dad"""

"Some people may be brave enough to try to get into the milk business. Me? I wouldn't dairy."

"Nicholas Cage is the same character in every movie he makes, except Face off where he was John Travolta."

"Where do you hide after a murder? Behind a badge."

"Don't forget about bald guys living vicariously through their beards."