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Joke of the Day

"Sure, white people cant say they ""N"" word but atleast we can say phrases like "" thanks for the warning, officer"" and ""hey dad"""

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch."

"[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst"

"What's pink and hard? A pig with a knife."

"Writing with a dull pencil is pointless..."

"Heroin is like a baby.. ..it feels so amazing to have in your arms."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Annie! Annie who ? Annie-versary !"

"""It's very expensive."" - Chipotle employee ""Look, I got money to spend in here."" - Julia Roberts Pretty Woman 2: Guacamole Costs Extra"

"I farted in front of my Jewish friend... He glared at me. I said, ""What? A little gas never killed anyone !"""

"May I have a quick word with you? Velocity"