39838

Joke of the Day

"Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw."

"I'm going to stand outside So if anyone asks, I'm out standing"

"Saw a bumper sticker with a gun and ""I don't call 911!"" Jesus. I hope his wife doesn't fall down the stairs. ""Sorry darlin'."" -*BLAM BLAM*"

"The average life expectancy for a human being is one life."

"Did you hear about the gay turtle? Finally came out of it's shell."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a baby I won't rape the pizza before I put it in the oven"

"Some Christmas jokes A guy I helped at work told me these jokes. They're terrible. I love them. What goes HO HO HO thud? Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO? A Pimp taking inventory."

"Why did the communists trip over? Because they were Russian!"

"How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian? [dereted]"

"Why do they call it a non-sequitur? Riot gear."