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Joke of the Day

"Saw a bumper sticker with a gun and ""I don't call 911!"" Jesus. I hope his wife doesn't fall down the stairs. ""Sorry darlin'."" -*BLAM BLAM*"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? apparently not 3, because my basement is still dark."

"I think we need to find faster means of travel across water. You catch my drift, mate?"

"What do you call a serial killer who can kill with both hands? Ambi*Dexter*ous"

"What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ? Six weeks old !"

"without moms we'd have no password security questions. thanks mom, for making online banking possible"

"If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella."

"An illegal alien, a communist, and a Muslim walk into a bar The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"""

"I don't get why everybody hates on ISIS.... Their drug policy, for one, is incredibly progressive. Women get stoned legally over there all the time!"

"Hey, the 1700's called, they said please invent telephones."