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Joke of the Day

"[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me ""hero"" others will call me ""guy who fought a teacher"""

"Not saying I'm special but kids these days never have any money behind their ears."

"A man was applying for a job in the navy So, the interviewer said. ""Can you swim."" The man looked puzzled and asked. ""Why, did you run out of ships?"""

"Proof that Bush did 7/11 Jet fuel cant melt ICEE's"

"What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it? Tennish"

"There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down."

"What is OJ Simpson's password on his computer? Slash, slash, backslash, escape."

"What do you call a psychoanalyst's underwear? A Freudian slip."

"Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot"

"Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today"