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Joke of the Day

"Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot"

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"If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed"
"Why are books the only thing advertised as ""Wherever books are sold."" You can't sell other stuff by saying ""Wherever you get this shit, IDK"""
"how did mario find a ghost? He used a luigi board."
"I farted in a room full of hipsters.. then watched them fight over who heard it first."
"I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
"Teacher asked us today, ""What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"" You can't hear a protein. (Wait for it)"
"I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes."
"Why do gay people like math? Because of *bi*nomials!"
"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 left him a note saying ""You're next""."