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Joke of the Day

"Proof that Bush did 7/11 Jet fuel cant melt ICEE's"

"Willie: ""I have an awful toothache."" Tommie: ""I'd have it taken out if it was mine."" Willie: ""Yes if it was yours I would too."""

"A wife asks her newfie husband to stop by the grocery store on the way home... She tells him, ""pick up a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen"" He comes home later with 12 loaves of bread"

"I went to the zoo today, but it only had one animal! It was a Shitzu ... I'll see myself out edit: apparantly this is another common repost which I have never seen. Oh well, I like it."

"[Meta] If our roles were reversed... I'd upvote your post."

"You gotta hand it to short people. Because their arms can't reach."

"I run sentences together on purpose so you don't get a chance to pause and change your mind about reading whatever it is I'm not saying."

"[couple tossing baby back and forth] [music stops] judge: custody granted dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT"

"How did the gay wizard dissappear? He went with a poof!"

"Why is there no Windows 9 ? Because Windows 7 8 9."