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Joke of the Day
"My eyes are brown with tiny flecks of narcissism."
Next Joke
"Who makes the lemonade at a hospital? A Fizzy-o-Therapist."
"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? -> He uses the finest ingredients."
"what kind of sunglasses doe Janay Rice wear? Ray-Bans!"
"Apparently there is a bipartisan push in the US senate to legalize marijuana for arthritis treatment So in other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support."
"Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth."
"How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN!!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"
"Whispered ""I love you"" to my 2 yo. He whispered ""I know"" back. And w/that, he put his hand down the front of his diaper, and became a pimp."
"Pet Shopping Paddy says ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""fuck that"" says Mick ""have you seen how many of their owners go blind"""
"I changed my relationship status to ""I'm sharpening my knives"" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit"