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Joke of the Day

"Whos the coolest guy in hospital? The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy"

"What does a Jewish pedophile say? Come buy some candy kids!"

"My mom always told me to treat people how I want to be treated but... It's not nice to just spank people & pull their hair."

"Where was the male lion's favorite vacation spot? Maine"

"wife: Why don't we run through the parking lot? me [laying on the ground in front of the car that hit me] Because it's dangerous"

"Just want to apologize to all the unlucky women that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped him."

"My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it."

"ARTEMIS: No man shall boast he has seen Artemis bathe! *turns Acton into a stag* [Artemis nudes go viral, 2.2M viewers turn into stags]"

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go out at night without Robin."

"What did the pregnant blonde ask at the doctor's office? ...Is it mine?"