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Joke of the Day

"I suggest we all go to Russia for Christmas.. They'll have fried Turkey"

"This bloke at uni today told me he had 90 degrees... I said 90 degrees how is that even possible? He said you just need to look at uni from the right angle"

"Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner? The passengers and crew were marooned."

"""Dude, we should swap spacesuits. Just for a laugh."" ""Ha, yeah ok."" [swaps suits] ""Now we sh-"" ""You took a shit in this, didn't you?"""

"What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White? Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!"

"Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience."

"If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply ""I'm a lunatic"" they won't ask any more questions."

"I always smoke after sex. I've quit now for 16 years."

"What do Michael Jackson and someone that come in second place have in common? They both cum in a little behind!"

"What do you call a person with short-term memory loss? I forget..."