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Joke of the Day

"What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White? Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!"

"Kanye's motivation to run for president . . . Mayweather's facebook page and twitter account! You can have them even if you don't know what is in them."

"Recall how as children we were told not to make ugly faces because we'd ""stick that way?"" Careful. It works for dumbing ourselves down, too."

"So my wife said to me, ""I swear, it's like all men share one brain"" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain"

"What's a Chinese fisherman's least favorite part of living in Hollywood? Pilot season"

"Which is the oldest animal? Zebra. Coz they are still living in black and white."

"A tree fell on a family's house and killed everybody. It was rootless."

"My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? ""You know what else they can't get? Good jobs."" I received a write-up :("

"I remember the first time I ever masturbated... ... it was a seminal moment."

"Welcome to AlzheimersAware.co.uk. Forgot your password? Of course you did."