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Joke of the Day

"Animals are more careful than human. Here is the reason. http://funnyentry.com/ny-pizza-rat-turns-to-cannibalism/"

"How did the dollar bill feel when his change started disappearing? Coincerned"

"A child is like a blank slate. They make a horrible screeching sound when you drag your nails across their face."

"Shot my first turkey yesterday... Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section at the grocery store."

"What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey"

"What did one autumn leaf say to another? I'm falling for you."

"My motto is ""Grab Life by the Balls."" As you might imagine, being dyslexic, I spend a lot of time apologizing to guys named ""Leif."""

"From school to work, I've spent the majority of my life staring out a window, waiting to leave."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man?.. How can you breath through that thing."

"People who say they're 'living in the moment' must be hitting the refresh button like a motherfucker."