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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ? Bubble and squeak !"

"Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we."

"Kid Rock must be an Adult Rock by now."

"Had a near death experience last night A cop pulled me over."

"Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Opposites attract."

"If I got a dime every time I exaggerated... I'd have a jillion, gazillion bucks!"

"I wrote a book titled: How Dragons Are Greater Than Unicorns Daenerys Targaryen wrote the foreword. All she wrote was: No shit Sherlock!"

"I am finally going to stop procrastinating. Starting tomorrow..."

"So my wife just hit me with a ""mom joke"". She says, ""oh look, there's whiteout conditions in Washington D.C. I bet Will Smith is gonna boycott""!"

".@petco None of the pets I purchase from you shrug and say ""It's a living"" when I use them in place of household appliances."