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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I'm having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. (Stolen from my science textbook)"

"Hey Cutie ever do it in a sleigh?"

"My favorite oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp. 2. Act natural. 3. Boneless ribs. 4. Civil war. 5. Freezer burn. 6. Adult male. 7. Happy marriage."

"OMG! I just got an email (in my bulk mail folder) from Oprah Winfrey!!! She's gonna help me increase the size of my penis!!!"

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist."

"What's the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss? They are basically the same except you do an Australian kiss down under."

"Popsicle sticks are depressing."

"Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale? Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

"Heroin use among horses have grown But finding the evidence is like finding a needle in a haystack."