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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I'm having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit."

"The pirate was pretty tired... He YARwned."

"The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is ""Salary is Credited"" "

"Some Mexican guy just tackled me & put silver/grey tape all over my belly then ran away... I was ab-duct-taped by an alien. (I'm so sorry)"

"[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that"

"What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic? A rebel without a gauze."

"I'm convinced. Some peoples' brains are still on dial-up."

"It's amazing, when a dog licks its own arse it's perfectly normal. But when I do it... I get arrested for bestiality."

"""Super Faggot"" is a terrible nickname for a baby."

"What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs? Bob"