181816

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic? A rebel without a gauze."

"What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle? The candle is a thousand times brighter!"

"God said unto John... ""John if you come fourth you shall receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and won a toaster"

"Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!"

"What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Around Ten-ish."

"Me: What's your dad do? Kid: My dad? He's an actor Me: Why? Couldn't you get a real dad?"

"No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married."

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"""A Walk Among the Tombstones"" could just as well be a TV serial... ... It has so many parts."

"Can we please stop referring to them as ""dick pics."" I think ""penis portraits"" has a classy je ne sais quoi appeal."