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Joke of the Day

"What's the most capable element? Tin, because tin can."

"When it comes to the topic of body dysmorphia and gender assumptions, i'm not a fan. Infact I identify more closely to an air conditioning unit."

"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner"

"Two antennas got married. The ceremony was nothing to write home about, but the reception was outstanding."

"I just spent fifteen minutes wondering how mermaids poop in case anyone out there is looking for a best friend or arch nemesis or something."

"How can you waste food when there are starving children in...ew onions."

"What's the good word? Legs. Spread the word."

"Got diagnosed with Kyohosis The doctor diagnosed me with kyphosis. 85 degree curvature. I had my suspicions for a while, but the diagnosis proved to me that it wasn't just a hunch."

"The lord said to John ""Come forth and receive eternal life""... But John came in fifth and won a toaster instead."

"I want to meet the actors who get turned down to act in infomercials. Then I would ask them how their brother Alec Baldwin is doing."