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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner"

"Writing about 2 dinosaurs who hate crime. They make motorcycles & badges from the meteorite that killed their dino buds. Called TriceraCOPS!"

"Me: Do you love me? 13: Silence Husband: if you don't tell your mother you love her we are going to make out at your next soccer game."

"A lot of times you put up a tweet and at first it doesn't seem like it's going to do very well and then BOOM: you make 1 million dollars"

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird."

"Orange is the new... most used word on /r/Jokes"

"spit your drink at the person sitting across from you and tell them it's because you were laughing at this."

"What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family"

"How many black guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one - you fucking bigot."

"Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? Because he only made a good buccaneer."