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Joke of the Day

"COWORKER: how old is our boss? ME: cut him in half & count the rings CW: doesn't that only work on trees? ME: *over chainsaw noises* HE'S 38"

"My wife lost interest in sex with me because... ..of my gut, but we still have one thing in common: Neither one of us has seen my dick in years."

"I got caught torrenting ""Free Fallin"", ""American Girl"", and ""Wildflowers"" They charged me with first degree Petty Theft."

"So many rainbows so little rain. Please send rain, sincerely California."

"They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs."

"I am trying to find my selfie image in iPhone 7 Until I remember I took that one with John Cena."

"Actor Jim Carrey vehemently denounced California's new vaccination requirement for all school-age children because it would render them immune to the childhood disease of being a fan of Jim Carrey."

"Did you hear that Grey Poupon is opening a university? It's called Poupon U"

"I forgot the joke about the Jonestown Massacre. All I remember is that the punchline killed"

"What did the philosophically-wise Mongol general say to motivate himself? I'm not Immanuel Kant. I'm Genghis Kahn!"