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Joke of the Day

"What did the philosophically-wise Mongol general say to motivate himself? I'm not Immanuel Kant. I'm Genghis Kahn!"

"A beautiful blonde walks into a bar, and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gives her one."

"Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did"

"I think my washing machine used to belong to Usain Bolt. It has a setting for fast coloureds."

"if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened"

"my girlfriend texted me saying she was going to go out shopping for an hour sent at: 2001-11-06 3:35 PM"

"Guide to DIY: 1. Double the cost estimate. 2. Double the time it should take. 3. Live with it for 3 months 4. Hire someone to fix it."

"What type of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tasmanian Barbie ...spins like a top!"

"Why do all dads have huge dicks? Because the kids have tiny hands."