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Joke of the Day

"When my wife starts to sing.... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig's List just a week after we updated our life insurance?"

"If God doesn't believe in himself... Does that make him an atheist or does he just have low self-esteem?"

"Poop When you say the word ""poop"" you mouth makes the same motion as your butt hole when you poop. Sam with diarrhea."

"The ducks in Cern What does the ducks in Cern say? Quark Quark"

"What happened when Moses went to Mount Olive? Popeye got pissed."

"Him: Going to Taco Bell, want anything? Me: I'm just thirsty Him: What do you want? Me: Six tacos and a burrito"

"What's the best way to dispose of bodies? Put the ashes in the donuts."

"Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ? Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector."

"Siri, where did I go wrong? Siri: How long you got?"