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Joke of the Day

"The Middle Ages Queen: Babe come to bed its late. King: Not until I can come up with a cool name for my soldiers! Queen: k night. King: holy shit you're a genius!"

"Do you know how electricity works? The truth may shock you."

"I was watching the men's hockey at the commonwealth games today, I was thinking it must be a very dangerous game to play, I mean half the Indian team were running around with bandages on their heads"

"Apparently when your wife says ""let's make a baby,"" she doesn't mean assemble an infant from clay and chant The Old Words inside a pentagram"

"""You've got a friend in me."" - Cannibals, probably"

"Q: What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork? A: Kermit the Frog's Finger"

"A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing saran wrap pants. Man: Doctor, I think I'm crazy. Psychiatrist: Well I can clearly see your nuts."

"Man spills highly valuable can of concentrated oxygen ""It was an oxidant!"", he was heard to say later."

"Nerd Joke Man walks into a bar and days ""Bartender, I'll have an H2O."" His friend says ""Ill have some H2O, too"" His friend dies."

"I feel sorry for Anne Frank... First she gets her diary published, which is every girl's worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn't get any money from it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare."