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Joke of the Day

"There were zwei peanuts walking down the strae... ... and one was a salted... peanut."

"Why does the murder no longer use axe? Because he realized it can't wash away his sins"

"I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"" Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"A black guy walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender looks at him and says, ""That thing is really cool! Where did you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""Detroit"""

"Woman cut me off, stole my parking spot. I honked, flipped her off and went into yoga. Woman came into class as the instructor. Namaste."

"I'm going to start a business in India, but have technical support staff in Boston. See how those fuckers like it."

"I used to make jokes about people with butter fingers; stopped 'cause they couldn't handle it."

"My Internet is acting like a black guy It doesn't work"

"Want to get your kids attention and make sure they hear what you say? Start whispering something to your spouse."

"I'm opening up a restaurant called: I Don't Care, Where Do You Wanna Go?"