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Joke of the Day

"Woman cut me off, stole my parking spot. I honked, flipped her off and went into yoga. Woman came into class as the instructor. Namaste."

"She said ""you look like trouble""...so I nudged her down the stairs, because I don't like people falling short of their expectations."

"I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like."

"Lately people have been trying to get me to jump off a dock But I don't give into pier pressure."

"What do you call a veterinarian who's real good at poker? (first post) Ace of spays"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 is a six offender."

"How do I raise my kids? Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it?"

"Calling a girl ""honey"" is ok. Calling a girl ""bee vomit"" is not ok. I'm a relationship expert."

"When you say the word ""poop"" your mouth makes the same shape as your butthole when you poop The same can be said for ""explosive diarrhea"""

"Are jokes about Islam funny? Absolutely, they're a blast."