198093

Joke of the Day

"I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"" Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"Oh cool this dress has pockets to keep my snacks in"

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba dum tss!"

"Proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing."

"I got a call telling me my grandma only has a few hours left to live.... but I refuse to pay the ransom."

"You know what they say: Finding the right analogy is has hard as hmm..."

"Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck."

"[1st Day after wildebeests take over] I'm safe in my house [Day 7] Thought I heard clattering [Day 21] THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES"

"Cowboys are in the playoffs and gas is under $2 Is this the 90's?"

"How many roads must a man walk? 42."