198093

Joke of the Day

"I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"" Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"Did you hear the one about the gynecologist who was looking for a job? He could never find an opening."

"I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly, I almost fell in."

"Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed."

"Is that your cat? No, she's adopted. Me and my boyfriend, we can't have cats."

"MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad"

"What's the recommended age to teach your child that Google has every answer to their homework?"

"I once made a horse laugh and cry. (NSFW) I told the horse I had a bigger cock. He bursted out laughing. I showed him, he cried."

"What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They both swallow a lot of seamen. Ahh stupid jokes. They never get old."

"What do you call an owl with no forehead? I sucked too many dongs last night to remember"