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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to start a business in India, but have technical support staff in Boston. See how those fuckers like it."

"Out of all the children's stories, Goldilocks is the most ridiculous. How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony? smh"

"How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant? Run around until you get pooped out"

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef-jerky."

"I asked my German friend how many jews there are in Germany today He replied: I don't know, do you want me to gas? (This is conversation actually took place like an hour ago)"

"What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ? Six weeks old !"

"I asked Sean Connery what game he was going to play with Roger Federer tomorrow and what time he was going to go He replied: ""Tennish"""

"How do you know when a politician is lying? When you see their lips moving!"

"What do bullets and I have in common? We don't miss Harambe."

"Judge: Guilty Me: Sayyoudidwhat. Judge: What did you say? Me: Judge? Did you just reverse my sentence? *Stage dives into cheering jury*"