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Joke of the Day

"How do Ghosts get Drunk? Booze."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Sent back for not being hot enough"

"Why should everyone vote for Hillary Clinton? Because Bill said she doesn't suck"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman use to be my favorite actor... But now he's dead to me."

"How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher? When the old one expects you to ""do your share"""

"Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window."

"If I had a time machine I'd alter the Big Bang Theory pilot episode so all the characters exploded in the very first scene"

"Apparently, I snore really loudly... ...loud enough to terrify everyone in the car I'm driving!"

"if u went back in time to kill hitler, itd be easier to kil pre-war hitler but then all the germans woud b like ""yo why did u kill that kid"""

"A Valentines joke from yours truly, Cyclops <3 x Roses are Red Violets are Red Everything is Red...sigh"