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Joke of the Day
"What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny? an anti-joke."
Next Joke
"I hate when people say ""you always want what you don't have"" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of ""want."""
"I feel bad for my Roomba, so every other day I vacuum while it sits on the couch watching TV and drinking beer."
"Hey girl, are you a pool? Cause I'd piss in YOUR deep end"
"What do you call a guy with a big orange nose? Sir. The man has enough on his plate without being treated as a lesser individual by society."
"Q: What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments? A: Luters."
"Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band."
"Why was Luis Suarez expelled from the rap contest? Because he was biting."
"What's black and is on top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a housefire."
"8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher? Me: Yes. 8yo: Where? Me:... 8yo: WHERE! 6yo: (from outside) It's spreading. Me: I'm up."