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Joke of the Day

"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."

Next Joke
 
"My teacher said, ""Are you chewing gum?"" I said, ""Do I look like chewing gum to you?"""
"I'm thinking about selling my Theremin. I haven't touched it in years."
"What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause? He knows where all the naughty girls live #*( )*"
"Why do SJWs hate cannibals? They're always man-spreading on their sandwiches."
"Once an American asked a Mexican.. ""What separates dogs and Mexicans?"" The Mexican said, ""A border""."
"Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice."
"Why do the people in front of me at the ATM always seems to be having some sort of damn major financial crisis?"
"What kind of underwear does John Grisham use? Pelican Briefs I'll go find a bridge"
"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? (slightly NSFW) A pickpocket snatches watches."
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