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Joke of the Day

"Optimism I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optimist. I just don't have a whole lot to work with."

"What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured? ""Icee."""

"""Hellooooo? I'm tweeting here, pay some attention to me"" - everyone on twitter ever."

"I don't know who the pun editor of the NY Post is, but the headline PEACHES' DEATH IS STILL FUZZY deserves a citation and/or beating."

"I just got fired for sexual harassment. I'm self employed."

"PASSWORD EVER, USERNAME GREATEST *username/password must each contain at least one numeric character* PASSWORD 9EVER, USERNAME GREATEST6"

"What is a grasshopper? An insect on a pogo stick."

"If chick-fil-a ever merged with five guys, what would they could call themselves? five-guys-fil-a-chick"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with four captains? She came back with a Red Snapper."

"Do you want to hear the story about the broken pencil? No? Oh well. There'sno point to it, anyway."