38970

Joke of the Day

"TURTLE: hey, you carry your house around too! HERMIT CRAB: i do. where'd you find yours? T: i was born with it HC: *scoff* ok princess"

"Ever step on a Lego and then kill yourself just to make the pain stop?"

"What is the definition of a will? C'mon. It's a dead giveaway."

"Have you heard the gullible joke? Me neither..."

"I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what shocked him more, my naked body, or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco."

"girl: brrrr it's cold haha me: you... you want my kimono?"

"{Police Job Interview} Captain: Go out & kill 5 Blacks, 3 Mexicans & a kitten. Recruit: Why kill a kitten? Captain: You're hired."

"What are your go to jokes? I was at an event the other day and someone asked ""So... anyone know any jokes?"" What's everyone's ""go to"" joke in social situations?"

"Can't trust CNN? Next thing ya know Nigerian royalty sending me emails will be fake."