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Joke of the Day

"Officer: Sir, we have reports you've trained this bird to injure passersby. Me: Ridiculous! O: The pet's name? M: Paul the Attack Canary."

"Recently I sailed the 7 seas... And let me tell you, this wasn't my worst report card (Seven seas, Seven C's)"

"A Catholic dies, and thinks he's gone to heaven ."

"Why do black people take such good care of a Chinese baby? Because black people make ""Wong"" decisions!"

"Me ""Hey honey, I got hurt at work, Donna brought me to the hospital and the Doctors are trying to save my leg."" Her ""Who's Donna??"""

"Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50."

"I want to get a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I could see myself doing"

"Growing up my mom told me... I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft."

"Welcome to Facebook. Please choose your category: Comedian, Philosopher, Protester, or Drama Queen."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.... But I don't know Y"