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Joke of the Day

"Recently I sailed the 7 seas... And let me tell you, this wasn't my worst report card (Seven seas, Seven C's)"

"I always wanted to be just like Flo Rida. That's why I changed my name to ""New Ham Sure"""

"Twitter: where 20-year standup comedy vets get out-funnyed by accountants, college kids, junkies, & unemployed single moms on a daily basis."

"Today, Apple is announcing to the world that millions of baby boomers still don't know how to rip mp3 files from their record collections."

"*takes personality test* *fails*"

"Why is Santa's sack so full? Because he only comes once a year."

"African scientists are saying people who died of Ebola are coming back to life... But thats ridiculous, every one knows theres no such thing as african scientists."

"I wish I was able to argue about something as strongly as women do about nothing"

"If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?"

"Who do fish listen to when they want to hear some dubstep? Krillex."