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Joke of the Day

"Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: You're on your own, Idiot."

"Whenever someone says, ""It's getting hot in here"" I automatically think, ""So take off all your clothes."

"I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit."

"A man would never say... STOP SUCKING MY DICK OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE!"

"Money :::: humans are the only species that have to pay to live on earth.."

"What is 6 afraid of 7? Because size matters."

"bakers trade recipes on a knead-to-know basis"

"What sex position makes ugly babies? Ask your parents"

"I won a fight that was five against one in Baltimore today. We totally kicked the shit out of that guy."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again."