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Joke of the Day

"Me: goodnight moon Moon: It's 6pm Me: I know but I'm tired Moon: I literally just got here"

"I'm not racist. I just have a problem with people's tone."

"it is pretty silly joke... what is the similarity between cops and dick!!!! they can stand anywhere any time.."

"""Oh great! Just great!"" --guy showing up to the beach with a bunch of sand"

"ME: This electric toothbrush knocked a few of my teeth loose. DENTIST: That's an egg beater."

"How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits."

"Waiter, ""Welcome to red lobster, I'm your seafood expert."" me- ""did you know octopuses have a beak?"" W-""no"" Me- ""who's the expert now?"""

"Math and meth sound the same but one is a life ruiner and the other one is meth."

"I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked. Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately."

"I just saw a poster that said ""have you seen this man?"" With a number to call... So I called the number and told them ""No."""