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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating in the air? You shout, ""Drop it, Nigga!"""

"I made an app that tells you were people with dwarfism are at all times. I can't be the only one thinking of the imp-locations."

"Me: Honey, are you awake? [wife rustles] Hmmm? Me: When we were fighting & you said ""Wolverine's powers suck,"" did you really mean that"

"Have you heard about the guy who reanimated the dead? He made Mary Shelly roll over in her grave."

"Abortions are so fun It really brings out the kid in you"

"The Real Pink Panther Joke What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug? Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt"

"Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you're still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!"

"slowly adding more and more lead to your meals until you're immune to bullets"

"A child is like a blank slate. They make a horrible screeching sound when you drag your nails across their face."

"A double amputee was brought in for questioning after a shooting at a local convenience store. Police released the man soon after they discovered he was unarmed."