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Joke of the Day

"Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you're still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!"

"How does moses make his tea? Hebrews it"

"there's a portal to another dimension underneath Zooey Deschanel's bangs and I am determined to use it to meet Benjamin Franklin"

"Q: Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast? A: Because their schedules are so flexible."

"Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?"

"How accurate is the bible? Very!! Especially when thrown from a short distance...hits the target almost always."

"My favorite word is onomatopoeia.. I just like how it sounds"

"Why did the Pasta join a dating website? Because he was cannelloni."

"Incest... When you hit a little too close to home"

"What does a bungie jumper and a condom wearer have in common? If the rubber snaps they're screwed. <----- this is a classic xD"