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Joke of the Day

"Me: Honey, are you awake? [wife rustles] Hmmm? Me: When we were fighting & you said ""Wolverine's powers suck,"" did you really mean that"

"What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines? Porcupines have pricks on the outside."

"What would you call two banana skins ? A pair of slippers."

"What's the difference between an amusement park and a pedophile? A pedophile doesn't have a height limit"

"I want to write a tweet that is so offensive that it reduces my followers to zero."

"Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby."

"I named my dick Rosa Parks ...Because it refuses to go in the back."

"What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ? Poison by Christian Dior !"

"why are there fences around graveyards? people are just dying to get in there these days."

"It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine"