38611

Joke of the Day

"I was so bored last night I decided to make a belt out of all my watches It was a complete waist of time"

"What spell does a Hogwarts student use when they pregnant? fetus deletus!"

"I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day. Abort* Sorry, I hate auto correct."

"It sucks when you try to join a gang in a new city and find out none of your street creds transferred."

"My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988."

"What is the hardest part of twerking? Being black"

"""Hey, checkout my butthole."" - Cats."

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"Tried seducing my wife with a 'lil strip tease. She said it was going well right up until I got naked and spread my butt cheeks in her face."

"I'm not a narcissist. Narcissists spend their time looking at themselves in the mirror. I don't need to do that to know I look fabulous."