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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Chinese philosophers discovered gravity hundreds of years before Newton? Too bad they had so many durian trees."

"I often call my stepson a ""bitch"" and my stepdaughter a ""dickhead"" to show them the importance of gender equality."

"Anyone else notice Independence Day is July 4th? Maybe we can work it into our 4th of July celebrations."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain? So you're the one.... (only if you answered ""i don't know"")"

"In life, we should all aim to be like Italian meatballs. Well seasoned and well rounded."

"What killed the Imgur front page? The Grim Reappost"

"I wouldn't call it 'passive aggressive', but I do send the glitter Christmas cards to the people who annoy me."

"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A prostitute stops screwing you after you're dead."

"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who require closure..."

"Today, at the train station, my mood ring was stolen... but I'm not sure how I feel about it."