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Joke of the Day

"What does Hitler say when he's impressed? That's Totalatarily Awesome"

"sorry 4 rant, I heard a guy say ""millennials all do fake social media jobs""& was like buddy ur postgrad data entry gig is done by robots now"

"I Want To Be Pampered! Actually, any brand will do."

"I was watching a hulu video and an ad came up saying ""This episode was brought to you by the invisible children."" Now I know how the internet works."

"I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind"

"Yo mama, so fat.... that when she walked outside to get the mail, it measured on the Richter Scale."

"pulled over drunk driving office: please recite the alphabet from z to a me: z y u a k m e"

"My dog never listens to me, and I think he might have a speech impediment... He keeps balking at me when I try to tell him to be quiet"

"I've heard that pineapple juice makes your semen taste better, so I decided to try it. The semen tasted better, but the juice tasted much worse."

"How do you fit 3 babies in a bowl? Blender. How do you get them out? Chips."