189582

Joke of the Day

"I've heard that pineapple juice makes your semen taste better, so I decided to try it. The semen tasted better, but the juice tasted much worse."

"What did the redneck get on his SAT? Drool."

"What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this."

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"What is the height of hunger? Teeth marks on the toilet seat."

"*Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while."

"If you send Joseph Gordon-Levitt a script that doesn't say ""skinny tie"" on the first page, he gets so mad he has to write four ukulele songs"

"I read the Constitution... ...but only for the articles."

"Mom called to tell me she is qualified to be a yoga instructor... I think that's a bit of a stretch"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I cant jelly my dick in your ass"