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Joke of the Day

"*on the subway* CUTE GUY: [mouths ""hi""] PRETTY GIRL: [mouths ""hi"" back] ME, IN BETWEEN THEM: [exaggeratedly mouths ""YOU GUYS LIKE HOTDOGS""]"

"I hate it when... people refer to themselves as animal containers. and yes I'm a hippo crate."

"Want to hear a joke about Jonestown? I'd tell you but the punchline is too long."

"What type of dog is always amazed? A Chi-WOW!-ua"

"How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? Nobody knows because they've never tried"

"One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen."

"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one-iron Because even God can't hit a one-iron"

"They only arrested Justin Bieber cause he's black."

"Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."

"What's got four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of tree it could kill you? A pool table."