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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee, tied up in burlap and thrown over the back of a donkey."

"[standing at the hospital nursery window with other new parents] ME: this zoo is terrible"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine? You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you"

"Dyslexic Zombie What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brians"

"What do you say to ensure another Jehovah's Witness never comes by your house again? Sir, have you heard about the great workout of crossfit?"

"What do you call a mexican on amphetamines? Speedy Gonzales."

"What is black and smells like blue paint? Black paint."

"Why does the boy could not bend his knees? because he had no knees"

"Horses are nice, they're like motorcycles you can pet"

"Did you hear about the overweight terrorist? His dying words were ""Allahu snack bar!"""