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Joke of the Day

"Justin Beiber fell off stage last night at a concert in Canada. He suffered only minor injuries according to his gynecologist."

"Shoe repair guy: so what happened? [cut to me trying to flush myself into the Ministry of Magic from my toilet] Me: I stepped in a..puddle"

"Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons."

"Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions? I do."

"Who is in cowboy films and is always broke? Skint Eastwood."

"Caught myself staring into the medicine cabinet like I do with the refrigerator."

"I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't."

"What did the fish say when he ran into the wall. Dam..."

"There's a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You'd better f*cking be there."

"What pronouns do you use to address a chocolate bar? Her/she"