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Joke of the Day

"There's a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You'd better f*cking be there."

"Why did the bumble bee have sticky fur? Because he used a honey comb."

"No matter how bad my head hurts, I bet Lindsay Lohan is jealous of my hangover."

"Hey ninja turtles, if youre trying to hide that youre turtles maybe dont drive around in a van thats customized to look like a giant turtle."

"Brock Turner got a slap on the wrist because he's a professional swimmer. And that's the furthest thing from being black one can be!"

"We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself."

"Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep? Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects."

"Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees."

"I listen to trump rallies before I go to bed They're all white noise."

"Drugs are never the answer kids. Unless the question is ""why have you been checking under the carpet for lizards for 3 days straight?"""