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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever get that creepy deja vu feeling? [credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2tc8bn/how_do_you_subtly_fuck_with_people/cny3ig0)"

"What goes great with noodles? COMPANY!"

"I've lost my dog! Have you tried putting a message on the Internet? Don't be silly my dog never reads e-mails!"

"I still can't believe it when someone in the bathroom stall next to me is talking on the phone I mean, who TALKS on the phone"

"What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator? A Cairo-practor"

"Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name."

"Dear men, I can make your girl scream louder than you can ever make her! Love, Spiders"

"""You should go with the black one"" I whispered from inside the clothes rack as she dropped both shirts and ran. FINE, GO WITH THE WHITE ONE"

"I'm thinking of opening a sperm bank and calling it... ""Get a load of this guy"""

"What do you call scriptures for blind people? The holy braille"