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Joke of the Day

"""You should go with the black one"" I whispered from inside the clothes rack as she dropped both shirts and ran. FINE, GO WITH THE WHITE ONE"

"Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind. Little Jimmy's dad walks into his son's room and says, ""Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind."" Little Jimmy: ""Dad I'm over here, in the living room..."""

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. but then I changed my mind."

"I farted in a room full of hipsters? They argued for two hours about who heard it first."

"""Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"" Exactly ""What?"" It's inflation ""I hate you"""

"I'm the guy who invented the sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop. Credit to 'flaggon' from sikipedia"

"Ten times two is the same as eleven times two Ten times two is twenty Andersen times two is twenty, too"

"Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight..."

"If you really want people to notice you, be a typo."

"It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life."