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Joke of the Day

"Out of 11, how bad is your OCD?"

"What do you call a porno that involves incest, biology and foot fetishes? Suck Mitosis"

"8 year old daughter: I wish I had been born a twin Me: You were a very hungry fetus- Wife: Ok that's enough time with Dad for today"

"[buying condoms] Do you have anything bigger? Like if someone wanted to pretend to be a slippery ghost for a day, or something like that."

"Waiter waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes ma'am they can't stand the boiling water."

"How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? Not all men."

"A different Roman walks into a bar... Hey cousin, want to go bowling?"

"I had to get new tennis shoes this weekend my old ones were pretty run down"

"Why is it called the 18th hole and not the final fore"

"My new favorite sex position... Is called the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."